Making listicles

-is a poor use of time

-is an acceptable use of time

Self referential list of anxieties about my listicle-making

• Will my friends think this is dumb
• Will my employer judge me (will my employer see this)
• Will people who are not terrible at making websites judge me for being lazy/liking this site ugly

List of lists I wish people would make for me

• Evidence I can cite in arguments of various kinds (I love being right)
• Good manners that might matter for real
• Everything I should ever buy other than food (so I never have to think about consumption except of the delicious kind)
• Feminist critique that relates to how I should be living my life as a cis/straight/upper-middle class woman
• Novels about ladies
• Music that describes my relationship to the person or how they feel about something in the world

Early memories

• Two and a half years. Daycare in a church. When we came back from a field trip, had to pass through the dark, silent church to get back in. Classmate’s red light-up shoes as we padded through thick grave air.
• Three years. Playing house.
• Three years. The teacher who I hated for trying to make me sleep during nap time (even though my mom said I didn’t have to) broke her arm and was gone for a few days. Happiness. Guilt.
• Four years. Massive earthquake hits Athens. Crystal falling from the high shelves.
• Four years. Preschool. Fearing God. Suspecting I am a saint. Need some miracles.
• Four years. New millennium. Parthenon lit up green. Earrings with tiny glow sticks lit up green. Is that it?
• Four years. Always hanging out at the jewelry store in our neighborhood. I liked the girl who worked there probably because she spoke good English. Remember going before preschool with my dad one day then being late for preschool. Rain.
• Five years. Reddish sand covers Athens. Mom tells me it comes from the Sahara. Starting at the top, I mop the white marble steps to our door. Get to the bottom track more of the now muddy substance up each stair as I head back inside, then turn and erase each footprint as I go. Guess I’ll stay inside now.

Trash girl things

• Suggesting going on a date to Buffalo Wild Wings and refusing to make any conversation not related to what is on the TV directly behind your date, so they are forced to crane their neck the entire meal
• Cashmere sweatpants
• Princess nokia
• This website.
• Eating on njtransit next to sleeping businessmen
• Everything in this article.

This is a website about lists. Daphne made this website because she likes lists and brutalist web design and wants to play with them. Daphne also likes to code for real. You can read her writing about code.